What happens with you when everything around seems to be falling apart? You lose your job, an overdrawn account, a broken relationship, difficult family members, you feel friends don’t respect you enough etc. With all due respect, get over it! As people, there is a tendency to focus on all the things we don’t like in our lives and use them as excuses to label ourselves as victims. Recognize that no matter how bad things may become, you still hold the power to choose, and you do not have to choose the status as a victim.

It’s all about your perspective; if you lost your job, maybe the job was sucking the energy out of you, leaving you empty and unfulfilled. Now you can focus on finding a job that you’re truly passionate about or creating your own business. Maybe the broken relationship lacked the strength and commitment needed for you to fulfill your destiny, and it may have been the greatest favor of all.

Maybe you can’t get along with your family because you’re more focused on being right in arguments instead of listening to each other and considering different perspectives on matters. Maybe you think your friends keep disrespecting you because you have too many expectations. Nobody is perfect and sometimes you have to give your friends room to make mistakes; the greatest friendships are achieved by overcoming difficult situations through patience and forgiveness.

All these unseen blessings and more come into our lives when we stop being victims and start being victors. Here are three ways to become a victor in your life:

1.Refuse Self-Pity. You are a child of God and that means EVERYTHING. You weren’t created to be a victim of your life; you were created to be a victor. The truth is that life stops for nothing and no one. Embrace the things in your life that you don’t like and treat them as essential life lessons; learn from them, grow from them, and use them as building blocks to reaching greater spiritual heights by becoming more grateful, patient, generous, and God-loving.

2.Stop Complaining! It sad to see so many people continuously upset, irritated, angry, and stuck in a complaining-rut. I used to be the ‘queen of complaints’. “I can’t believe he just spoke to me that way!” “How am I ever going to pay my bills now that I lost my damn job!” “The wait for a table at this restaurant is ridiculous!” “Why must I always wake up with back pain! Ahh!” And so on and so forth.

I wasted so much precious time. The more I complained about the things I didn’t like, the blinder I was to the really amazing things in my life; my loving family, my good health, my education, delicious food (I love to eat!), etc. There are so many people who don’t have the same things and here I was taking it all for granted.

3.Be Grateful. The minute I decided to focus on gratitude for the good in my life I felt an influx of blessings pour into my life. I built up better communication with God through prayer, I dedicated myself to my passion – writing, I got a new job, and so many more things. Now my life isn’t perfect, and I haven’t achieved all my goals, but I’m happy knowing that I will undoubtedly get to my destination as long as I don’t get derailed by self-victimization.

The same goes for you lovely readers. A happy, abundant, and fulfilled life awaits you; getting to it depends on whether you will be a victor or a victim of your life. The choice lies with you.

_______________________________________________________________________________
Ada is a writer, storyteller, and practicing spiritual junkie. She loves God, her family, and all acts of generosity. The longest relationship she’s had is the one she is currently in with food. It’s been 26 years, they’ve tried going their separate ways, but they haven’t had much luck. You can learn more about her life and her thoughts at www.adainprogress.blogspot.com

_______________________________________________________________________________

The post Choose Victory appeared first on Moyo Mamora Site | #BeInspired.

That said, is the trick to live your life making a conscious effort to avoid conflict? No! Conflict is good for us. The tension we face presents opportunities to develop ourselves and form the character that we need to succeed. If you constantly are trying to avoid conflict with people, there are certain aspects of your character you will not exercise, also you are probably being untrue to yourself. You are making a sacrifice that is centered on you. You are concerned about your feelings, and how others will think about you.

First thing to do when you are confronted with conflict is to understand what the real situation is at hand. Too often people get very emotional in the midst of conflict that they lose sight of the real issue. If everyone else is getting emotional, you want to take a step back and objectively look at the facts at hand. Be clear on what the issue is, be clear on what the parties involved want, and be clear on what it is that you want out of the situation.

Once you have objectively analyzed the situation, listen to the request of the other party. This can be very difficult especially if it appears things are getting aggravated and the other party is being abrasive. Nonetheless, it is to your advantage to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. Once they are done stating their position on the issue, state your view point objectively. It cannot be guaranteed that they will hear what you say, but the onus is on you not to get emotionally absorbed into the situation.

In all of this you must learn to have the right attitude all through. The way we act and behave in the midst of conflict is part of our communication. We must always make sure we are being kind and mannerly in our disposition towards people. It is no good to be condescending, rude, and unbecomingly in dealing with people in conflict.

The strength of character is in learning to keep your cool and keep the right attitude in the midst of the tensed up situation. After multiple practice it gets easier for you. This is a valuable skill to have in any organizational setting because the lack of it affects your ability to act as a part of a team or be effective as a leader. Leadership requires the ability to deal with personal conflict.

It is a painful process to have to deal with conflict, but it eventually sharpens your social and interpersonal skills in the long run. You become stronger on the inside, and the fact is that for you to truly fulfill your God given purpose, you will have to make hard choices and deal with difficult people along the way. Avoiding them is not how you reach your Promised Land!

Thoughts?

The post How Conflict Strengthens Your Character appeared first on Moyo Mamora Site | #BeInspired.

One of the greatest problems that plagues our generation is the inability for people to delay gratification. We want everything now. These days parents feel the best way to show love to their kids is to give them everything they ask for. Is this really showing love to children or is this short-circuiting a character development program that is needed for the children? Patience is an attribute of good character that must be developed by everyone who desires good success. Patience involves being persistence in your effort (work), while maintaining a constant expectation of the reward.

Statistics shows that a good number (about 85%) of people who win the lottery go broke within 2 years. The reason for this can be attributed to the fact that people who win the lottery never earned the money and because of this they do not have the strength of character to handle what they have gotten. It is a simple law of life that we tend to place high value on things we have gotten by being patience (i.e. worked for and have been rewarded for over time).

The potential you carry on the inside of you is something great. It is the seed of destiny within you that will give you success and relevance in life. The moment you discover purpose, and you begin to work it out, the vision of your life becomes clearer to you and it gets you excited. But obstacles will come along the way. Challenges will come that will attempt to discourage you and keep you from believing that you are capable of fulfilling your purpose.

Don’t buy into the lie that says your time has passed or that you are not capable of attaining to the fullness of your destiny, instead learn to judge your experiences rightly. There is a process that takes something from its raw form into something of value. You never want to attain to any level of success that your character cannot handle. With each experience you go through on your way to success, constantly ask yourself for what lesson you can learn? Identify the areas that you need to grow in so you can better deal with the situation at hand.

The truth is that there is nothing that you may be going through that someone else has not learned to overcome. Such a person will go through the same situation again and will not be stressed out or frustrated because he or she has the benefit of wisdom and past experience. Such an individual has gone through the process of character development and they have the strength to keep a good and positive attitude in the midst of the challenge.

Don’t look at hindrances on your journey to success as a vote of no confidence on your ability to succeed. Neither should you ever let your experiences push you to constantly be reacting. Learn to take charge of your life. Decide to use each experience as a new course in ‘life’s university’, because when you are done and have passed the test, you will be credentialed for the next phase of your destiny.

#BeInspired

The post Learn To Judge Your Experiences Rightly appeared first on Moyo Mamora Site | #BeInspired.

When I think about leadership, two things come to mind as necessary for the making of a leader; character and competence. Competence speaks of ability to perform the tasks at hand and deliver what is necessary to move the group towards the vision. Competence answers the question of if the leader has the skills necessary to maneuver the challenges that will come along the way, strategize and solve problems that  arise along the way, and generally deal with issues.

Competency is what causes a leader to rise to the top. Or it is that which makes a person the one to be deferred to when situations arise on the path to the destination. But it is character that keeps the leader standing. It is the character of a leader that earns he or she the respect needed. Character also keeps the leader going against all odds. Character is the heart attitude of a leader, and this is what this post is focused on.

The following I believe are necessary pieces of character to form the heart of leadership:

1. Humility. Humility is the ability to recognize where you are in relationship to the situation you find yourself in. The opposite is pride and arrogance when a person believes they are bigger and better than everyone around them. Thinking more highly of themselves as they ought to. Solomon in portraying the wisdom of God said, “Pride goes before destruction,” therefore leaders must constantly keep themselves submitted to the notion that they are humans and susceptible to mistakes and errors. When they happen, he or she must be willing to fix them and not bully his or her way through them.
2. A teachable attitude. Many people believe that as a leader you must have the answers to every question. While issues that arise in the course of leadership challenge the competency of the leader, it is not beneath the leader to seek the counsel of others. I remember the biblical story of the Syrian general, Naaman. Naaman was leprous and he had gone visiting a prophet in Israel who was known to be able to heal. On Naaman’s arrival to the prophets home, he didn’t even come out of his chambers to give audience to this “high and mighty” general, but sent word for him to go dip himself seven times in the Jordan, one of the dirtiest rivers then. The general was angry and fumed, vented etc, but there was a little handmaiden who put her life on the line and offered suggestion, “if the prophet had asked you to do something great, wont you have done it”. That was the light bulb for this general, and he did what was asked and he was healed! (2 Kings 5)
3. Integrity.There are many things you can lack and still steer clear of danger. Integrity isn’t one of them. Integrity is the leader’s personal code of ethics. For a leader, it must be a few steps above that of the average person in the group. The integrity of a leader must be evident to all. When in a leadership position, there a people who are by default looking for your downfall, hence you need the extra foundation and support pillars of integrity to stand against attacks on your person. Integrity is something you build over time. It is learned. With each mistake, you learn a lesson, then you make a decision and a commitment that strengthens your character.
4. Endurance. As you lead others towards the vision laid out, you will face obstacles, and many people will want to quit, but as a leader this should not be you. People feed of your energy, perseverance and persistence. As often said, persistence is one of the major character attributes of those who succeed. As a leader you don’t just need the strength to persevere against all odds for yourself only, you also need the strength to feed your followers with the same energy. There are times you will have to motivate yourself first, and from there motivate others, and they might not be responsive, but you must make sure you endure. Because at such times, your persistence is all that keeps the people going.
5. Love. If there is one thing that sums of the heart of leadership. A leader has a heart for the people he or she leads. It’s a sincere desire for the development of the people and an improvement in the lives of the people. Great leaders are people who are sacrificially willing to give to others. They find fulfillment in knowing that their vision is becoming a reality in the life of another person. Love seeks to honor and respect the wishes and desires of the other person even if the leader does not agree. Leaders will guide to the best of their ability, but for the sake of love, never impose their own desires.

Cultivate the leader inside of you! I know there are more attributes of leadership, so share some with us all…

#BeInspired

The post The Heart of Leadership appeared first on Moyo Mamora Site | #BeInspired.

This post focuses on passion. For you to reach your goals and be successful at what God has called you to do, you must be passionate about it. As human beings, our desires determine where will expend our efforts. It really is difficult to pursue something that you’re not passionate about.

Many people have goals that are simply a good idea to them. I myself have fallen victim to this. Where I think of something that will be good for me to do, and I make it a goal to pursue, but the desire is not strong enough to pursue it and see it become a reality, so days become weeks, and then months, and the “goal” just remained a lofty idea that I thought would have been nice.

Here are a few things you can do to fuel your passion towards your goal.

1. Write it down. The process of writing something down in a clear and concise manner reinforces it subconsciously. Not only that, you are also able to see if what you’re shooting for makes sense on paper. You want to write it down in a way that you can glance through it and get the full picture of where you’re headed to. When it seems like the goal is getting blurry, you can always refer back to what you have written down.

2. Change your focus. What you focus on long enough will eventually become your reality. Within every one of us is a goal seeking mechanism. There is something that draws you towards an inner target you have set for yourself. If you dwell on a desire long enough, yielding to the actions that will lead you to it is only a matter of time.

If there is a goal or a calling you want to attain to, don’t focus on the limitations along the way because if you do so, those limitations will become your reality. Let the vision of the goal be what is strongest within you. Part of this is why you want to write down the goal.

3. Fuel your passion with your words. Proverbs 18:21 says that the power of life and death are in the tongue. Our words have the power to form and shape our future. The amount of self talk that we go through in a day have the power to either lead us to our destiny or stifle the passion we need to get there. You must consciously make sure you are speaking out loud the right words, words that affirm your destination.

Pay attention to your self talk. When you notice they are negative or in violation of what you’re working towards, make sure you speak out loudly and declare what it is that you have in your heart.

4. Get in a routine. The things that we do to get us to our destination are mostly routine. Over 70% of your daily activity is automatic. You can add routines to your life that are consistent with your passion. Initially they will require conscious effort, but it is said that it takes 21 days consistently doing the same thing everyday without fail to form a new habit.

Pay attention to the things that you do on your high as it relates to your passion, and make a list of those things. Then break them down into daily routines. This way you will realize that you are consistently making progress towards your goals. In turn your passion will constantly be fueled towards your goal.

Are you feeling discouraged? You don’t have to be, for as long as you have life on this earth, you’re still on a mission.  Solomon said, “Anyone who is among the living has hope –even a live dog is better off than a dead lion!” (Eccl.9:4). Pick yourself up and begin to make another attempt towards the things that you truly desire in life!

#BeInspired.

The post Fueling Your Passion appeared first on Moyo Mamora Site | #BeInspired.

Likewise, when life presents you with difficult and unpleasant situations, you either have a choice to mope about the difficulty you’re faced with and be sour, or you can identify the potential pleasure and opportunity from the seemingly bad situation, and make the best of it.

For you to make the best of bad experiences and let them be an opportunity for significant growth, here are a few things that you can do:

1. Resist the urge to see yourself as a victim

Take a positive life stance. This is having positive frame of reference in your attitudes, assumptions and expectations you hold about yourself and the world in general. Learn to be persistently optimistic in all situations. You need to realize that though the situation may be bad, you rather make ‘lemonade’ than be sour.

Some people are perpetually in a victim mode. They never seem to be able to see any good in any situation. Even when they are presented with opportunities, they are too scared of making a mistake or failing at it, that they are not able to enjoy themselves in the moment.

When in any tough situation, confront the facts that are at hand, acknowledge your limitations but choose to remain expectant for good. Sir Winston Churchill is noted to have said “Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm”.

You cannot control much of what happens, but you can decide how you choose to react. If you expect good things, you will experience good things. Your expectation contributes to how you act in the face of situations. Affirm the fact that you have within you the ability to make a bad situation turn out for your good.

2. Get creative

When faced with a difficult situation, many people tend to second-guess themselves and their decisions, triggering a slew of negative thinking and talking. Reacting this way to situations shuts your creative ability down. I like to look at the Biblical account of creation and learn from it. Bible records that the world was dark, shapeless and formless, but the very first words the Creator spoke were, “let there be light…” He did not call the situation as it was, but spoke from within.

In the midst of darkness He spoke light. He spoke from a place of creativity based on what was within Him. This story of creation demonstrates that in the midst of any adversity, there is an equal and greater potential for opportunity. Likewise you have the ability to create new realities with your words and imagination. Ask yourself what is missing in your circumstance, and then begin to think about what is needed to fill that void.

Let your thoughts and words be focused on filling what’s missing. As you do this, ideas will come, and you will be subconsciously directed to an answer to overcome the predicament you’re faced with. Most luxuries we enjoy today are a product of another person’s challenge. The difference between these who provided solutions is that they were able to leverage on their creativity.

3. Never loose the lesson

Every situation we are presented with will always have a lesson. It is always good to have a lessons learned session after each difficult situation. As you seek help and counsel in making light of your situation, be sure to open yourself to correction. If you’re always arguing on what you feel you did right, then you will not be able to draw on the lesson to your benefit.

The truth is that some times, we ma not get the lesson until a long while after the incident, but we must always be on the lookout for what we learned so we can know how to adjust our behaviors and actions accordingly.

4. Make changes

Combining the ideas generated from creative thinking and the lessons learned should move you to make decisions to change certain habits. Habits are fundamental in making a success of our lives. It is the things we do consistently over time that cause us to succeed and attain to our goals.

As you move towards the pursuit of your purpose, your life should consistently evolve towards your goal. You must continually make choices to grow into your vision. Change your tactics, change your mindset, change your habits etc…change what you need to change about yourself in order to accommodate the changes in your situation.

5. Take responsibility for your life

Your circumstances may affect you but they should never define you. Every decision you make is a see that you will reap in the future. If it turns out bad, you must recognize that there were things you may have done that contributed to it. I said initially that you must resist the urge to see yourself as a victim, the only way this is possible is if you see yourself as being responsible for your actions.

If there are certain aspects of your life you don’t like, you have the power to change it!

#BeInspired

The post Making Lemonades from Life’s Lemons appeared first on Moyo Mamora Site | #BeInspired.

Have you ever felt like you’re just in a place where nothing exciting seems to be happening in your life; you’re not growing, you find yourself having to put out little fires, you lack motivation to pursue anything new, you’re pretty much just cruising? I have, and I really dislike those moments. I do not dislike this season because I feel like I always have to be doing something, but because it’s a dangerous place to be. Naturally speaking, everything tends towards mediocrity, so if there is no growth (which is the essence of life), then it means dying…ouch! But true nonetheless.

Many people because of the sense of purpose at work within them have a sense of discomfort about their current position in life. They recognize that they are not where they need to be in relation to the image of purpose within them. I dare say it is unhealthy spiritually, mentally and physically to be in a place where there is no deliberate effort towards improvement. You must always be pushing towards a goal with your faith in order to keep your spirit man active, you must always be learning something new in order to keep your mental edge, and you must always be involved in some physical activity to keep your body toned.

To attain to your goals in life and fulfill your God given purpose, you must be deliberate about your life. You don’t want to be consistently responding to things that happen around you (a bumper car lifestyle). Such a life is draining, and time and other resources are squandered in the mundane routine of reaction and recovery to what life throws at you.

Deliberate or intentional living is what Paul was talking about in Philippians 3:13: He recognized that there was a purpose for which Christ laid hold of him, and despite the progress he had made in his life and ministry, he still was not accomplished (verse 12). Therefore in order for him to attain to the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus, there was one thing he had to do. He had to focus on his call, and pursue after it deliberately.

Likewise in your life, it is not just enough for you to know that you are not where you need to be in relation to the fulfillment of your purpose in, but you must also identify the most pertinent course of action to take to attain to it. There is a Chinese proverb that says “To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping”. The journey that will get you the prize of your own upward call would require a series of deliberate actions on your part.

First be sincere with yourself and acknowledge your apathy, and then prayerfully seek God’s direction in identifying the steps you need to take towards fulfilling your purpose.

***I guess it kinda worked out after all ***

#BeInspired

The post Be deliberate appeared first on Moyo Mamora Site | #BeInspired.

Work is really like a second home. Let that thought really sink in for a moment. Most people spend at least a third of the twenty-four hours available to them in a day at work. That is a significant portion of your life. In light of this, you must strive to create an atmosphere that will enable you perform optimally and release the fullness of the potential within you, so you can be effective in fulfillment of your purpose.

The first thing you need to do is make an adjustment to your attitude. Your work should build you up rather than tear you down. The work you do will only build you up when you realize its benefit. Your attitude should be to see your work as a training ground. You’re not doing it merely as a duty, but you recognize that there is a seed of destiny within you that requires certain skill set. As you work you begin to understand your strengths and your weakness. It’s up to you to identify those skills that have a part to play in the fulfillment of your purpose, and develop yourself around those strengths.

Every challenge you face while doing your work, is an opportunity for you to exercise your skills and develop. Rather than capitulate under the pressure of the circumstance being faced, you ought to recognize the opportunity for growth. This perspective helps in seeing God as the one who has committed you to work. He planted purpose in your heart.

You need to make sure you are working in an area that fosters personal growth. This may mean you have to change jobs. You are probably thinking, ‘I need to pay bills’. It’s most important to pursue purpose rather than pursuing money. Successful people are those who have been fortunate enough to preoccupy themselves with activities that relate to the fulfillment of their purpose.

In the area of relationships at work, you must ensure that you strive to connect with people who will sharpen you up. You must avoid toxic people at all cost. You need not be around people who see the negativity in every situation. You want to associate with people who have a vision for the future, and are committed to reaching it. It is these kinds of people that will constantly challenge you to do more and go the extra mile.

You have a responsibility to treat everyone around you with love. This to honor and respect them as an individual. Your love, care, concern and respect for them is a demonstration of your love. Love seeks to be a source of empowerment to others. You are not looking for what you can get from them, but what you can give to aid them in being more fulfilled.

In line with this, you must learn to treat everyone you encounter with honor and dignity. If you work in a service industry, part of your developmental tasks must be to build relationship with your customers. Your customers are  the driving force of your business. They represent the ‘why’ for what you do. Dale Carnegie said, “People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.”

Let your interactions with people around you be one that is unforgettable for them. Remember, your place of work is your second home. You must learn to have the right attitude and build the right relationships. Like a seed planted needs the right environment to grow, so also does the seed of destiny within you requires the right environment to find expression. Given the amount of time you spend at your place of work, as much as it depends on you, make it an environment in which you can thrive as you move towards fulfilling your purpose.

#BeInspired

The post Thriving At Work appeared first on Moyo Mamora Site | #BeInspired.

So is there really such a thing as true love? Or is it just a fantasy in the minds of people that has been sold to us by the media? Is true love something you”find” or is it something that evolves from a conscious decision that you’ve made? Well find out here Moyo Mamora on Finding True Love.

Someone actually posted this comment, “Sorry to say, no such thing as love. Just respect yourself and your spouse. Goodluck”. Whoa! What do you think?

Anyway, While you’re reading the post on true love, you might also want to check out this post on Identifying a Real Man.

Let me know your thoughts on this, and share your agreements, or disagreements on finding true love!

#BeInspired

The post BN| How To Find True Love appeared first on Moyo Mamora Site | #BeInspired.

Once upon a time there was a hare who, boasting how he could run faster than anyone else, was forever teasing tortoise for its slowness. Then one day, the irate tortoise answered back: “Who do you think you are? There’s no denying you’re swift, but even you can be beaten!” The hare squealed with laughter.

“Beaten in a race? By whom? Not you, surely! I bet there’s nobody in the world that can win against me, I’m so speedy. Now, why don’t you try?”

Annoyed by such bragging, the tortoise accepted the challenge. A course was planned, and the next day at dawn they stood at the starting line. The hare yawned sleepily as the meek tortoise trudged slowly off. When the hare saw how painfully slow his rival was, he decided, half asleep on his feet, to have a quick nap. “Take your time!” he said. “I’ll have forty winks and catch up with you in a minute.”

The hare woke with a start from a fitful sleep and gazed round, looking for the tortoise. But the creature was only a short distance away, having barely covered a third of the course. Breathing a sigh of relief, the hare decided he might as well have breakfast too, and off he went to munch some cabbages he had noticed in a nearby field. But the heavy meal and the hot sun made his eyelids droop.

With a careless glance at the tortoise, now halfway along the course, he decided to have another snooze before flashing past the winning post. And smiling at the thought of the look on the tortoise’s face when it saw the hare speed by, he fell fast asleep and was soon snoring happily. The sun started to sink, below the horizon, and the tortoise, who had been plodding towards the winning post since morning, was scarcely a yard from the finish. At that very point, the hare woke with a jolt.

He could see the tortoise a speck in the distance and away he dashed. He leapt and bounded at a great rate, his tongue lolling, and gasping for breath. Just a little more and he’d be first at the finish. But the hare’s last leap was just too late, for the tortoise had beaten him to the winning post. Poor hare! Tired and in disgrace, he slumped down beside the tortoise who was silently smiling at him.

“Slowly does it every time!” he said.

SOURCE: CHILDHOODREADING.COM

In my post You Need More Than Talent To Succeed, I highlight the importance of diligence in reaching for your goals in life. There are many people who are overconfident in their abilities and this overconfidence causes them to be slack in their approach and attitude towards life. If you desire success in life you must learn to be diligent and persistent towards your goals.

This story ought to be an encouragement for people who feel like they are not as talented or ‘specially’ endowed in certain areas of their life. The key is to make the best of what you have. Know your strengths and diligently apply yourself to grow in the ares in which you’re strong at.

No matter how far away the goal is away from you, keep your eyes fixed on the goal, never minding what everyone else is doing. Too often we try to compare ourselves to others, and we let the fear of what others can do cripple our ability to function optimally.

What are your short term goals, and overall where do you see yourself in the future? What strengths do you have currently that are relevant in living your dreams and fulfilling your purpose? What are you doing to improve on and build on these strengths?

Never compete with anyone else but yourself. Keep your eyes on the goal. Continually press forward. A diligent, consistent and persistent pursuit will ultimately get you where you need to be in life. If the tortoise could beat the hare in a race, there’s no telling what you can achieve in life!

#BeInspired

The post A Lesson From The Story of The Tortoise and The Hare appeared first on Moyo Mamora Site | #BeInspired.