Guest post by Ada Obiako
What happens with you when everything around seems to be falling apart? You lose your job, an overdrawn account, a broken relationship, difficult family members, you feel friends don’t respect you enough etc. With all due respect, get over it! As people, there is a tendency to focus on all the things we don’t like in our lives and use them as excuses to label ourselves as victims. Recognize that no matter how bad things may become, you still hold the power to choose, and you do not have to choose the status as a victim.
It’s all about your perspective; if you lost your job, maybe the job was sucking the energy out of you, leaving you empty and unfulfilled. Now you can focus on finding a job that you’re truly passionate about or creating your own business. Maybe the broken relationship lacked the strength and commitment needed for you to fulfill your destiny, and it may have been the greatest favor of all.
Maybe you can’t get along with your family because you’re more focused on being right in arguments instead of listening to each other and considering different perspectives on matters. Maybe you think your friends keep disrespecting you because you have too many expectations. Nobody is perfect and sometimes you have to give your friends room to make mistakes; the greatest friendships are achieved by overcoming difficult situations through patience and forgiveness.
All these unseen blessings and more come into our lives when we stop being victims and start being victors. Here are three ways to become a victor in your life:
1.Refuse Self-Pity. You are a child of God and that means EVERYTHING. You weren’t created to be a victim of your life; you were created to be a victor. The truth is that life stops for nothing and no one. Embrace the things in your life that you don’t like and treat them as essential life lessons; learn from them, grow from them, and use them as building blocks to reaching greater spiritual heights by becoming more grateful, patient, generous, and God-loving.
2.Stop Complaining! It sad to see so many people continuously upset, irritated, angry, and stuck in a complaining-rut. I used to be the ‘queen of complaints’. “I can’t believe he just spoke to me that way!” “How am I ever going to pay my bills now that I lost my damn job!” “The wait for a table at this restaurant is ridiculous!” “Why must I always wake up with back pain! Ahh!” And so on and so forth.
I wasted so much precious time. The more I complained about the things I didn’t like, the blinder I was to the really amazing things in my life; my loving family, my good health, my education, delicious food (I love to eat!), etc. There are so many people who don’t have the same things and here I was taking it all for granted.
3.Be Grateful. The minute I decided to focus on gratitude for the good in my life I felt an influx of blessings pour into my life. I built up better communication with God through prayer, I dedicated myself to my passion – writing, I got a new job, and so many more things. Now my life isn’t perfect, and I haven’t achieved all my goals, but I’m happy knowing that I will undoubtedly get to my destination as long as I don’t get derailed by self-victimization.
The same goes for you lovely readers. A happy, abundant, and fulfilled life awaits you; getting to it depends on whether you will be a victor or a victim of your life. The choice lies with you.
Ada is a writer, storyteller, and practicing spiritual junkie. She loves God, her family, and all acts of generosity. The longest relationship she’s had is the one she is currently in with food. It’s been 26 years, they’ve tried going their separate ways, but they haven’t had much luck. You can learn more about her life and her thoughts at www.adainprogress.blogspot.com